It grinds me that women choose to stay
home and retreat from the main stage of life in their vital years.
I did that and paid a big price for it. It was a stupid waste of time,
for the most part. Luckily, I was able to recoup some of what I lost
later on, but I never got as far in my career as I would have liked to.
We need to stop treating women's issues as "lifestyle choices." Look at the ground we're losing now, with Roe v.Wade possibly on the way out. Who would have thought that could happen? What rights will women lose next? This is the most obvious manifestation of a crisis that should put all women on deck.
Everywhere I look, pioneering women in education, law,and politics are losing out to male colleagues, because they don't have enough support from female peers. Too many privileged women have retreated into private life, leaving their working sisters to struggle on outnumbered.
I'm glad my daughters have not done this. They figure out how to do what they need to do, and do it! They support other women and are supported themselves. They are young, strong, vital people. They know they are supposed to work very hard and accomplish things, for god's sake! They can rest up when they get old.
It's really true that elite women are veering away from careers. This is bad. Elite men are demanding cute l'il stay at home wives to take care of their cute l'il kids and comfy homes.
As one lawyer-bride put it in explaining her decision to quit practicing law after four years, "I had a wedding to plan." Another, an Ivy Leaguer with a master's degree, described it in management terms: "He's the CEO and I'm the CFO. He sees to it that the money rolls in and I decide how to spend it." It's their work, and they must do it perfectly. "We're all in here making fresh apple pie," said one, explaining her reluctance to leave her daughters in order to be interviewed. The family CFO described her activities at home: "I take my [3-year-old] daughter to all the major museums. We go to little movement classes."
Back to the 50's in a handbasket, I call that.
The patriarchy always wins. Or it has, so far.