Just a quick note: apologies to those I failed to get in touch with, phone or visit. I'll phone when I get back to Hilo, which is better to do with a land line anyway.
We just took our granddaughters to the school bus for the last time. This evening we'll be going to a music and dance extravaganza at their school. That will be fun!
My older daughter said something last night that really struck me, and I am going to be mildly indiscreet and share it. I hope this does not depress anyone. She said that at work sometimes people don't want to do what she says but she makes them do it anyway because she is right and in the long run they realize that. In my entire life I have never been in that position: in school, in my family, at work. It did not matter whether I was right or not, because I had no power. I could be as right as right could be, but it made no difference, because I had no authority.
I wonder how many other people are in my position. It has taken me all this time to realize that this has been the story of my life, and denial being what it is I'm sure that this is an unrecognized and common affliction among the powerless. At best, I have been able to prevail in some small matters. But everything I say or do has been called into question for as long as I can remember. This has forced me to explain my position, always, or just give up, whereas so many others simply get their way with very little trouble.
As an example, one of my last struggles was trying to convince my boss(es) that the best way to teach writing was to allow students to write. I ended up passing out worksheets and correcting grammar mistakes, because it was too difficult to do anything else. This kind of defeat has sapped my confidence and is typical of what happens to me.
Sorry to be Debbie Downer here. But that is how it goes sometimes.
I think our children have the confidence we didn't have and partly because we taught it to them. I feel some of the same things that I will not demand my way on things that I am pretty sure my daughter would. Maybe we're making progress, you think? *s* Ironically I just wrote a blog for the Rain Trueax one that will be in two days, or something like that, related to a dream i had last night and how I think it applied to living our own truth. I finished it by saying I don't think it's ever too late ;)
Posted by: Rain Trueax | January 29, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Rain: I SO appreciate what you say here and feel very encouraged by your words. Progress. My grandmother was a totally submerged woman, my mother had to fight for her life (and mine), I have had a good life though not outstanding, but my daughters are really out there making a difference. And there is still a lot for me to do.
I'm looking forward to reading your next post.
Posted by: Hattie | January 29, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Hattie --- Women have always found ways to buck authority and I am all for it -- buck if you feel like it -- barbara
Posted by: barbara | January 29, 2013 at 12:22 PM
What a shame about your teaching challenges. My students were able to write because I had them write everyday. Thank goodness our school district encouraged it.
Posted by: Musings | January 30, 2013 at 12:30 AM
I forgot to say I'm sorry you're having to leave now. It's always so painful to leave our grandchildren and children.
Posted by: Musings | January 30, 2013 at 12:31 AM
Kay: Thanks for the kind words. What encourages me is seeing so many people here working hard to make things better.
Posted by: Hattie | January 30, 2013 at 05:50 AM
It is fine if she is saying that to people above her. If that is how she treats people below her it is nothing to congratulate her about.
Posted by: Profacero | January 30, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Awww...Debbie...if the world didn't have people like you, how would those pushy people like me survive?
Not to be too flippant, Hattie, I think that some of us are just born however it is that we are. It is not something over which we have total control. There were NO doormats in my family. We ALL fought for survival. I do understand that there were certain protocols that were in place when I was younger (some of them still exist) that made it difficult for any woman to prevail; but, I think that was an entirely different matter.
Hopefully, you now feel more "in control" of your life. You surely seem to have a handle on it, at least - and - good for you!
Posted by: Cop Car | January 30, 2013 at 01:00 PM
She is right.
Posted by: Psilotum | January 30, 2013 at 09:37 PM
Profacero: These are all high level type A people! I have never known her to bully anyone. But she is dealing with an international team who may not always welcome taking direction from a woman.
Cop Car: But those of us who are plagued by doubt and indecision could not get along without forceful types like you!
And as Psilotum points out, and he should know, she is always right. She is masterful at identifying problems and solving them. She just is.
Posted by: Hattie | January 31, 2013 at 08:08 AM