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July 05, 2017

Comments

janinsanfran

We're all going to go -- and people seem to go through the inevitable being pretty as who they've always been. You've always struck me as toughly realistic. I hope you can also be kind to yourself ...

Hang in there.

Cop Car

Most of us would have a hard time maintaining a realistic outlook in your shoes. Therefore, I would think you would have our permission to feel shitty when that's what happens.

I don't understand any inclination to "blame the patient". It would set one up for failure when one becomes a patient, ones self, eh?

Hoping the better days outnumber the worser (so sue me for my grammer - lol!) Thinking of you!!

wisewebwoman

I had a long talk with a friend today who is not terminal but has had multiple cancers and ongoing horrific side effects for years now. Her latest doctor told her there is nothing more to be done and she was saying it's rather a relief: I have pills and the prognosis is more of the same so yeah, I can live and be real, complain when I feel like it, refuse to go places, do what I want, please myself more.

I feel somewhat the same, be as cranky as I want, be sour, be sweet in turn.

No apologies.

It takes a long time to get to this place.

Let no one tell you how to live. You're doing a grand job of it.

XO
WWW

joared

By all means, keep trying to figure out what your duties are -- you wouldn't want to get it wrong. Who decides what's right and wrong? Clearly the wheels are turning well despite what's going on in the rest of this crazy world. So, go with the flow in your corner of this planet.

tabor

I think trying to keep balance and still accept how we want to use our remaining time is the most difficult. We do not want to impact others with our moods, but also we do not want to keep up a face. I am reading Scott Simon's book which memorializes the death of his colorful and loving mother. They both kept their sense of humor which is the best.

dkzody

Three hours at a social gathering?? Wow, you are doing well at the end of the day. By evening, I am too tired to socialize for very long, much less three hours.

I wen to a meeting yesterday that lasted from 6 to 7:15. Felt like 6 hours! Of course, it was held in a gym that lacked proper cooling so must have been over 90 degrees in the building. I think I got heat exhaustion.

My advice, for what it's worth--do what you want, when you feel like it, and the rest of time, just BE.

Celia Andrews

Seems to me you are doing what needs to be done, getting out, getting treatment, feeling shitty cuz it is shitty. I'm with dkzody, do what you want/need when you can. I've always wondered about the blame thing. I think some leftover religious precept the puritans left us. Having a lifetime of asthma and people who blame it on my attitude, my imagination or my mother I long ago gave up on what someone else thinks is going on with me. Sending you hugs.

Ole Phat Stu

You are entitled to let things slide if you so wish.

That said, i do hope you'll still do the occasional blog ;-)

Marianna

Thanks, everyone, for the encouragement.
Stu: They will pry the keyboard from my cold,dead hands!

nick

I do admire the way you're dealing with your illness. I think I'd find it very hard to accept being an invalid, but you seem to be dealing with it in a very pragmatic and philosophical fashion. "Enjoy life as much as I can but be realistic." That sounds about right to me. And yep, if you're feeling shitty or grumpy or stroppy, so be it. Illness entitles you to play fast and loose with the conventional social graces.

Marianna

Nick: It's a roller coaster, and I can't predict how I'm going to feel. Right now I feel great! Go figure.

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