I've been feeling crazy lately. So today I'll just go with the flow...
A Facebook friend posted a time lapse vid of cactus flowers blooming. Lest I forget what pros working with the best cameras can do! (Don't know if this will play for readers not on Facebook).
I will always be an amateur in all my endeavors! What I think is that it's wrong to be intimidated by what the very best can do. Some people refuse to do things because they are afraid of failure, of the ridicule that is the lot of most of us who try for something and are maybe a little above average in some areas but not world beaters. A serious person would be trying to publish something. But le yawn, who cares? Fame, fortune, attention even? I'm 75, almost 76, and still alive. Not bad.
However, I've ordered the Economist Style Guide . Though disdaining their politics, I think their house style is the best. It's a kind of mandarin colloquialism, an easy, assured tone that educated Brits are so skilled at and which is really fine. There are two things I will have to stop doing, according the excerpts I've read: Starting sentences with "however" and using "google" as a verb.
No volcano update as yet. We've been having a lot of rain, so we haven't been up to the park yet. We will know when the time is right. And we'll get pictures, not professional ones but ones to share anyway.
Now here is some of the cray-cray: Our Nespresso machine stopped working. It would not fire up. Terry took it apart and found six dead cockroaches in it! They had chewed through the tasty wiring insulation. Terry fixed the machine and it works fine again. And yes, he cleaned and sanitized it. That is $200.00 saved. No wonder we are so solvent.Who would have fixed something like this except Terry? Your average slacker, me, for instance, would simply have despaired and thrown the thing away.
And please no one say we should get rid of all the cockroaches in our house. That is not possible. I've put roach tablets everywhere for the flying ones; the problem is that these little suckers causing the problem are German cockroaches and don't eat roach tablets and can get into any space. It's not such a good idea to spread poison everywhere. Roaches aren't so filthy and disease spreading here as in cities, either, because this is not a crowded environment and they aren't in sewers and such (as far as I know). They are disgusting, though!
In other vermin news: I sat down on a chair at the dining room table and heard a crunching noise. A chair leg had made a big splintery gouge in the hardwood floor. This is from a former termite infestation in that area. So we'll have to get friend Jim to patch it. We have been putting off and putting off getting the house tented. We have termites elsewhere, too. The house is not going to fall down, since it's redwood, but the suckers do chew on the ceiling and the pine and oak floors.
I had an awful moment of believing I was losing it when I totally forgot about an outing with a daughter and granddaughter and couldn't figure out what a restaurant charge was about. But then I realized that my other daughter had totally forgotten a long discussion we had involving making plans for a family get together! So it's familial absent mindedness rather than age-related dottiness.
Great crazy-making reads this weekend: Explorations of 19th Century ideas on feminism, physical culture, the medical profession, hygiene, insanity and other fascinating topics. What I'm reading now is called Memoirs of My Nervous Illness in English. I got it For Free as a Kindle download in German. Yes, it cost me $.00 to download this important book by Daniel Paul Schreber, a paranoid schizophrenic who was having trouble keeping God in line. Also, sunbeams followed him around and talked to him. As well, he declared that God had found his female part and impregnated him. I could not help but laugh out loud as I read some of this.
His father, Moritz Schreber, ruined him. A widely held notion of the time, which the elder Schreber must have believed, was that it was a good idea to break a child's animal spirits before it got too old, because it would not remember what had been done to it and would just emerge a different creature from what it was originally. He came up with a restraining device which was designed to prevent the younger Schreber from masturbating. The Wikipedia entry on Schreber the elder is excellent.
Freud studied Daniel Paul Schreber's memoir. It's amazing how detailed Schreber's cosmology was. He was highly intelligent and was able to create an elaborate alternative universe.
I am not totally convinced that a lot of schizophrenia is not caused by childhood trauma. This theory of causation is out of fashion because of our cultural need to absolve parents of guilt and our desire to medicate people. The fashion is to say it's a brain disease, but what if it is caused by attacks on a child's physical being, such as rigid feeding schedules and forced toilet training, beatings and prohibitions against sexual behavior, all common features of child rearing until very recently? I know medication does help many, although the side effects are not pleasant, but what caused the detachment from reality in the first place?
Have any of you out there ever read fan fiction? This is a revelation! Here are two excerpts from a piece on the first four years in the life of Jesus that slayed me, imagined reflections by that all-time best-known top of the charts mom:
I cannot imagine anyone wanting to hurt my dear boy. He's just a child! I can just imagine my parents meeting him for the first time; they will surely fall in love with him. Those wild, dark curls, sweet, brown eyes, that bright, toothy smile...he's just like any other adorable child. The only difference is that he is God incarnate.
"It seems like only yesterday that we laid him in that manger", I say.
I avoided Mothers' Day, mostly. Just like Hillary, I've got too much baggage around all this being a female and a mother stuff. It's too complex a matter for me to want to be involved in such a stereotyped event.
Question of the day: Why do some many people dislike hand sanitizer? Is it because they want to give germs and viruses a break? Or is it that hospital smell?
I am definitely all out of whack today!!!
Chao bis morgen.