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April 12, 2013



In general we do not listen. We hear what people say but do not really listen because we are too busy talking ourselves.


Yes, I find that almost all people behave as though they are starved to have someone listen to them. I don't know whether this actually means nobody ever listens to them or they just love to endlessly speak about themselves.

Try it. Meet someone on the street and strike up a conversation, then keep nodding and smiling. They will talk forever; you'll hear their entire life story, guaranteed.


I really wasn't thinking about the way people hold forth on the subject of themselves and their opinions, but there is a lot of that. But no one would ever call that conversation. It's verbal diarrhea.


I have noticed that some people are much more excellent conversationalists than others. They make being with them such a joy. With other people, you have to work at holding a conversation. It gets be tiring at times.


Yes, I could tell what you were trying to say, Hattie. My comment was really off-point. More on point is this story:

Once I was at a business meeting out of town. In the evening several of us went to the bar, where they had a band. A man in our group, whose name I do not remember, asked me to dance. Oh my god, he was an amazing dance partner, and I suddenly could dance like a professional! We danced two or three times, and I enjoyed it more than any time I have ever been on the dance floor. I have thought of that evening many times.

That is what a really good conversationalist can make you feel like. It's just a pleasure.


I have run into both good and bad conversationalists -- of course how can I decide who is bad or good as it is all so subjective for me to decide. -- barbara


Kay: I just had a pleasant conversation with a friend and was trying to analyze what I liked about it. We were attentive to each other, made eye contact, and had mutually interesting topics to discuss (yes, and some gossip!)
Maria: Exactly.
Barbara: I think the test is whether or not you enjoyed the conversation. For are we not supposed to provide pleasure to each other? That's how I judge these things.

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