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August 27, 2017


Pamela (LadyLuz)

And your best far outweighs much of the crap we read on the internet, M.

I too had a wonderful psychotherapist friend who encouraged me always to be myself and whatever I do, do it with love. He too recognised the importance to me of warmth in my life, from friends mainly, and the occasional man.

I always enjoy your offerings, whatever the subject and/or tone. Thankyou.

Ole Phat Stu

Tell Terry his will be a minor OP.
I had a skin cancer removed from my thigh under local anaesthetic. 2 years later I merely have a thumbnail sized patch on my skin from where they scooped the cancer out deep WHILE I WATCHED ;-)


I have never in my life believed in religion. It seems from start to finish a mass of contradictions and absurd statements. I've got on very well without it. I've also known believers who despite their ardent faith were totally screwed up. The world would be a better place without such mumbo-jumbo.


Pamela: Therapy and drugs are geared toward helping people to function. Not really enough.
Thanks for the kind words. Yesterday was a low point but I'm on the way back up today.
Stu: You are pretty tough! Everyone with light skin who lives in Hawaii gets these cancers, and they are not serious, usually.
Nick: I had some kind of religious feeling when I was very young, but even then I was wary of wishful thinking (aka getting your hopes up)and so become a nonbeliever around age 6. I don't argue about religion much, because I live in the U.S. and religion is very important to many. Nobody bothers me for my lack of belief, and that is satisfactory to me. I'm not going to change any minds nor will they change my mind.


Lawdie Miss Hattie your writing on your so called poor days rivals mine on my very best.

We had similar fathers but my old man would beat your old man in the length of his awful rants and interrogations.

I wish we all would concentrate on the little slice of life we have here rather than focus on Sky God.

Sleep well my friend.


Cheerful Monk

I really enjoyed this post --- it was honest and from the heart. Thank you for writing it.


Well, I read the Menand article and could not make much sense out of it. I like Freud despite certain errors, etc., and I do guess you are right, people do not remember the world he came from.

 Hank Chapin

Dissing Freud is a contemporary cliché. You can get away with it. The two books you cite are also what I chiefly remember and liked from Freud. I remember being blown away that he said MOSEs is an Egyptian name. Why not? Like ThutMOSEe the Pharaoh. Similar etymology.

My mother never darkened the door of any church whatsoever. The whole Butler family on that side was irreligious. Dad was conventionally religious.

I am surprising myself lately by getting a lot out of attending St. Clement's Episcopal Church. It is a bond between me and my new girl friend. I find the tradition reassuringly spiritual and theatrical--songs, Elizabethan English etc. I spent years as a Quaker (Society of Friends and found their message great for the social upheavals of the Sixties and later

Because of my Grandmother on the Chapin side, I know the whole Christian drill.The most unpleasant argument I have ever had was about Catholicism and Protestantism by a very brief roommate in college. It was awful, and I have never rained on anyone's religious parade since. And I still want to be cremated, which is what outraged my opponent. Believe what you want; be my guest.

In two weeks, the Rector of St. Clement's, Canon Kate Cullinane and a few close friends and family will be present for comments and prayers when I scatter the ashes of Helen, my wife, and Chip, my son, at the Tantalus Lookout. I will read the "For Whom the Bell Tolls" meditation by John Donne, my very favorite writer of all time except for Shakespeare and ee cummings and all the others. We already scattered half the ashes a year ago at the Volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii where you live. That was at the suggestion of Helen who was a member of the Greek Uncle George Lycurgus family that owned the Volcano House, and she was brought up there as a girl. It was a very meaningful and beautiful ceremony.

So, I'm 81 and that's where I am. "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself." --Walt Whitman


Monk: Maybe my maundering adds up to something. It's just me, unprofessional, unedited but enjoying blogging very much.
Z: This may be where learning languages, travel, etc. are so important to "mainstream"Americans. We are a gullible people. I do upbraid myself for knowing so little about the South. Glad to recently having learned a few things about the Caribbean (including Cuba), though from a purely touristic perspective. Pretty good on the Midwest, Northeast and of course the Far West, ie places where I have actually lived.
Hank: I contradict myself all the time and am very ambivalent. What you say about the Episcopalians makes me wonder whether my mother would have not abandoned religion but that she was raised as a Catholic. She simply did not respect Catholic beliefs, but Episcopal ideas might have appealed to her. Her brothers and sister remained Catholics. She seemed to become more spiritual with age--not something that has happened to me. Whenever some idea appeals to me, flatters me, has a feelgood vibe, promises to make easy and painless the hard things in life, I examine it closely and ask myself if someone is trying to sell me something!


"Nobody bothers me for my lack of belief, and that is satisfactory to me."

I remember you mentioning your co-worker at Kulani proselytizing. As for me, religion is a personal matter, in the sense that people can't force others to believe or not. If anyone has questions about my religion, I'd try to answer them as best as I could.


Brandon:Sure. And that is one of the many things I respect you for.

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